I just have to put this here because I have no where else to say this, I have been in my new position for two weeks now and it’s finally sinking in… I am an Human Resources Analyst for 5 major state of Texas agencies… You might not recognize me as your local customer service rep or electrician or receptionist anymore… And… You probably will never recognize me at a face-to-face level with this position, however I make the world go round for over 60,000 individuals in Texas and it’s a level of importance along with being my first time being paid salary that makes it a big deal to me. I feel I have worked so hard to excel in this company and getting selected for this position has been the greatest blessing, (ie. no more working a second job like I have been on weekends) but this will not be where I stop myself. This is my job before I get my degree and go into a different direction (like my degree will be in). I might be good at what I do but it isn’t what I will be doing for the rest of my life… However my pay and benefits kick a little bit of ass so I will be staying until that moment comes.
It’s been a week staying at the new house, I love every second of it. If it wasn’t 36 degrees outside I’d be naked writing this but it’s cold and rainy with a wind chill that knock everything down 10 degrees… Trust me the heater is on but it’s just not enough for this shit weather. Everyone that comes over loves the place, I am off 51st in an old neighborhood that has proven the perfect placement of being able to get to work in round rock and being able to live and be in Austin.
I am so fucking, amazingly happy but unsatisfied with myself, and I think it makes me over self conscious. there is always a little self consciousness that we all should hold but to this there is a balance and right now I am not as physically and presentationally as great as I wish I was. It makes a girl sad sometimes. I had this horrible day last Thursday where my day went entirely wrong from the beginning and As the day progressed i simple felt like a rag doll falling apart at the seems with each heavy burden of bad news I seemed to have encountered. I have a plan though and it seems solid. I have confidence in it. Give me a few months to get my feet back on the ground, new place soon, gotta get an ‘A’ in my class that starts in August, then transfer… Then finish… Hopefully good trips and adventures along that way. I have faith while J and I work through this mundane and seemingly never ending path we will make up the fun and adventure where it lacks. I need to work on getting a better camera and documenting this so much more. I do not count Instagram and Facebook as a good way to remember things, need to take more photographs, period.
Well, been trying to get my other half up since noon, looks like my weekend before summer saturday class starts isn’t going to be as fun as I anticipated. No coast, no camping and bored as piss. Maybe I should throw on some clothes and go grab some grub and a stiff drink. 👎