I need to wake up. “walking on a dream”… (empire of the sun)
I love when I wake up and walk by something that I don’t remember from the night before then pointing while saying, “I hope I did that.”
Yeah… I sure do!
I think i might leave. My thrift store needs more confidence.. My life needs more faith. I move my things secretively in the next weeks. 2 days before I leave I tell my family. Thank you, finally, Jon gordon… And thank you for putting me right next to the ocean.. For missing me and saying “yes we need her”… till the Hawaii store opens and Jon or
Myself run it… (salary? What?!) .. Wait… More then double my life style now. I need this escape. I truly do. Hello ocean and goodbye Texas. Finally.
Get bike back (since the rain is finally gone)
Take records off of wall while roommate is away.
Put shelves up for bookage.
Finish the roll of film I have loaded
Be busy constantly… And productive.
When you have no confidants to confide in, nor any idea about how to articulate your own thoughts and feelings… You are left feeling stuck and truly at a loss. I find myself much more quiet and to myself recently. Not only am I missing a good ear, shoulder and extra smile…
Check. Check. With
Double check list: private everything because everything is used against you.
Start: 3:42am 12/15/11
Middle: feelings/ramblings/lots of circles
End: Sense of relief…? at least that is the prediction and hope.
my heart is in pieces.
i’ll take the fault.
it will never be the same.
i wish i was the glue,
I am just not.
I wish we could be together forever.
I, literally, go insane without you…
i am sorry i need you so badly..
more then you will ever understand.
I just want to be complete again.