I think i might leave. My thrift store needs more confidence.. My life needs more faith. I move my things secretively in the next weeks. 2 days before I leave I tell my family. Thank you, finally, Jon gordon… And thank you for putting me right next to the ocean.. For missing me and saying “yes we need her”… till the Hawaii store opens and Jon or
Myself run it… (salary? What?!) .. Wait… More then double my life style now. I need this escape. I truly do. Hello ocean and goodbye Texas. Finally.
Get bike back (since the rain is finally gone)
Take records off of wall while roommate is away.
Put shelves up for bookage.
Finish the roll of film I have loaded
Be busy constantly… And productive.
When you have no confidants to confide in, nor any idea about how to articulate your own thoughts and feelings… You are left feeling stuck and truly at a loss. I find myself much more quiet and to myself recently. Not only am I missing a good ear, shoulder and extra smile…
I feel like I am going backwards. I want to feel important, needed, special, talented, accomplished. I hate this deep seed of small regrets, it is growing and I need to change something before it gobbles me up.